Relationship Fail

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog.

Today, I was supposed to hang out with the girl I like because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma ‘all day.’ 1 o’clock, she comes online and tells me how much fun she had with this guy I really don’t like. She forgot that she lied to me.

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we’d never spent so much time together, so he didn’t know me well and now, he’d finally met the "real me". He doesn’t like it.

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria’s Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn’t my boyfriend.

Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiance dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house.

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I’ve liked for a long time. He’s a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes.

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it’s not like he’s never seen me naked before."

Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I’m telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I’m marking my territory, you’re mine now."

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat.

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat.