I discovered my 18 year old son has been…
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat.
Archive for the ‘Kids Fail’ Category
I discovered my 18 year old son has been…
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat.
I was lying in bed late at night trying …
Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and but it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself.
I said to the pool-boy of my house: “I…
Today, I said to the pool-boy of my house: “I know what you are doing and you have to stop it.” He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers.
while walking through the park, a little…
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face.
I babysat the most annoying and obnoxiou…
Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana.
my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was…
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don’t worry, it’s not yours".
I learned when you’re babysitting a 5 ye…
Today, I learned when you’re babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it’s already too late.
I sent out the email invitations to my b…
Today, I sent out the email invitations to my baby shower. In response, a woman I dislike sent me an invitation to her "I’m not having a baby shower" where everyone gets drunk. Same day. Same time. All of my friends RSVPed to her shower instead of mine.
my one year old daughter puked on my hea…
Today, my one year old daughter puked on my head. My husband, instead of helping me, went and got the camera.